I have not been doing my duty as a friend well myself, like how I'd love to be, especially when priorities like needing to stay home to appreciate the rest or chasing the ever-so-haunting-work deadline, or incurable fear of not being able to get good grades for my examinations, or the temptations of spending time with my legal husband whom I have commitment towards, exist in my breathing moments.
With the handful (or fingerful) friends that I have left - those I keep up to this day, those whom I put in an effort to keep in touch with - calling them every now and then, texting them every now and then - tagging them on social media every now and then (which is not very often due to my love in deactivating one of my social accounts for the sake of being left alone though no one really bothers me), I have a certain level of expectations towards them. Expectations like going for the extra mile for me, or doing more than what others could do for me.
The purpose of Camila Cabello's photo below is merely an example to show her "I thought that I could trust you never mind" mood which kinda relates to my post here...
(and I am so used to the drag and drop method in other platforms that I feel blogger.com is outdated - or it's done because of some security reasons, or whatever ...)
Source of photo : https://www.glamour.com/story/camila-cabello-on-fifth-harmony-2017-mtv-video-music-awards-performance
Really - when we are in trouble, we are vulnerable to ask for help. Some people surprisingly help without really knowing you - those are Godsent. Those friends whom you confidently knew would be there for you when you are in trouble someday, somehow just do the total opposite, and it leaves you dumbfounded - and you go to sleep doubting if you have been making the right moves in even keeping in touch, or prioritize, over other human beings who have the so-called potentials to be your friends too. You wake up feeling more alone than ever and regretting not helping other people apart from those precious friends.
No one should be blamed, and there is no need for blaming, at all.
It's just the wonder, that's all.
Signing off to do more important work now (I hope).
