I will forever and ever and ever and ever remember my first ever babysitting job in my over 30 years of age. This happened just 2 weeks ago - and it's one of the best experiences I have in life.
When I mention "best", those with babysitting experiences or simply put - mothers, may ( or may not ) give the quizzical stare, perhaps with accompanying anticipation on the elaboration.
[then again, who am I kidding? there will be no mother reading this blog, nor anyone with or without babysitting experience, because this blog isn't ever read, EVER.]
Let me write down the process here so that I can read it over in the future and remember how I had felt throughout the whole process. What happens, how it happens, what is said, how it is said - are often only documentation-able. How one feels is normally what matters the most.
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Don't believe me? Now imagine this...
You are a new employee of a company. You hear about this person named Paul who annoys everyone to the bones. Well, you hear about it - which does not justify it strongly enough for you to feel that he is one annoying person. And the day comes when you are to be on the same project as this Paul guy. You find out that people think he is "annoying" because he corrects everyone's grammar. You perceive it differently because you are in the midst of learning how to use grammar perfectly.
When it was just the two of you left in the meeting room...
You say to Paul: Hey Paul, thanks for your assistant.
Paul shoots you a look and locks you in his stare. Slowly and carefully, he says "Thanks for my ASSISTANCE. Assistant is a person. I don't have one."
You realize your mistake and feels that he is a great person who is not afraid to stand up for the justice of proper English grammar and you like it. You thank him and silently recall the times when you had probably made this mistake over and over again - and yet those who knew about it did not bother to correct you. If it were not for Paul.............
So there, you feel thankful towards him. He makes you FEEL like he is able to help you. He makes you FEEL glad that you find this out.
The breakdown of the elements here is simple:
What happened: You used the wrong noun and got corrected.
How it happened: Your colleague corrected you, though he did it in a sarcastic manner.
He said: Thanks for my ASSISTANCE. Assistant is a person. I don't have one.
How he said it: Mockingly, obviously.
How you feel about it: You're glad you're being corrected.
Therefore, this concludes how you feel about this guy whom everyone at the office gets annoyed with so much.
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Okay, so anyway........
My sister sent me a long text during work one day. She asked if it was possible for me to be back at our hometown to help with the two babies for a few days? Alright, I still call them babies because one of them is an infant, and another one of them is only a toddler.
Being a toddler, an elder one - makes people set high expectations for them because if there are 2 things, people will tend to compare the two. It's human nature. If a person always compares themselves to others, it is called the Social Comparison Theory. Comparing two things - I don't know what it's called yet, but people are prone to comparing - no matter what and where and how. It helps in making decisions. But, there's a trap in there.
The toddler is called Shasha. It's short for Kyosha.
The infant is called Leelee... or Kaylee.
My love for them is...skyhigh!
It's become a norm for me to plan my very limited annual leave very carefully, and very skimpily. Nevertheless, the text I had received changed my priority naturally. I immediately said yes and made time for it. It just, really, automatically became my priority.
My sister was guilty to the bones because of her decisions of going for the event in Pattaya. I told her it's totally necessary. A marriage should always be taken care of. You don't have to sacrifice your own life just because you have kids. If there are workarounds, let the workarounds work. It's all about choices.
My sister being my sister - she prepared a whole list of childcare toolkit - a complete one I'd say, for me to refer to. Those rules and tips and tricks definitely helped me a lot especially after my mum had gone off to her job.
My sister paid for the flight ticket, and I made the booking immediately. My husband did not follow me home this time, but I got his blessings to proceed.
Fast forward to the day. ❤
My husband, as usual, sent me to the airport.
I tried avoiding everyone with the sniffing or coughing sounds... or those who sneeze. I was about to be in contact with the babies! I continued reading my book Go Ask Alice about a teenage girl who fell into the trap of the drug world. It was a fast read because it was only her journal. There were no difficult words. Only trendy words. Trendy back then, in the 1970s.
And then, as we were queuing to board, the person behind me just kept on knocking onto my bag. Seriously, leave out some space between yourself and the person in front of you! What the hell is wrong with you?! I kept looking to the back, and I guess the person behind me had noticed it. She stopped doing so. Good girl! Grrr.......
In the plane, I still kept on reading the book, until the plane started moving. That was when I stopped. I knew for sure that if dizziness were to hit me, it'd hard for me to recover, so it's always wise to avoid even starting to get dizzy if I can control it.
When I'd reached, my beloved sister Natalie and her ever super kind husband came to pick me up. I am always glad to have them around - their presence is pleasant. My sister had a fever - poor her. At the same time, I was afraid that it was contagious. Again, I was going to be with babies, I should be clean at all levels - even in my talking. No cursing - AT ALL.
We reached home, and my mum opened the door for me. I love my mother dearly. She hadn't been getting enough sleep but oh well - who has? I just wish her a better life - though I can only provide a small percentage to that, and I can only provide this very small percentage financially. My mum did seem a little agitated because of her lack of sleep. However, that night after a shower, I slept inside her room, and she slept with the babies.
My mum was a little worried about leaving the two with me, but I convinced her that, that was the sole purpose I was there.
The next morning was cozy. My mum was the only one downstairs. I went downstairs to spend some time with my mum. After having a simple breakfast with mum, she went to the kitchen to clean up etc.
That was when I heard Shasha crying. I went to see her and asked her if she wanted to see "something". I was glad to have bought her some cute utensils for no reason, and some stickers. She lighted up. Kids! It's sometimes too easy to please them. She was adorable when she smiled. I made her laugh a little, and then brought her downstairs. My mum prepared some breakfast.
I had breakfast with Shasha, and then my mum went upstairs. Later after that, she came down with the baby. I was super in love with the baby. My goal is to never be distant from my nieces - and nephews. Oh, about that - my husband's brother's kids were normally scared and distant from us, but the last week I went to see them, I spent the whole time playing with them. They seemed to love me. Soooo--ooo---ooo---ooo happy about it! It was like a miracle!
My mum put the baby on the baby chair - the one which could be used as a bed, or a chair in front of the TV with BabyTV on, and the three of us had our breakfast on the dining table. Not long after that, Leelee shouted for our attention. It started gently, and then desperately. What a cute little bunny. Yeap to me she is a cute little bunny. I went to pick her up and she smiled immediately. I told you, they are easy to please!
In fact, this baby had only cried when she was hungry - that's all. She didn't even cry when she pooped. Oh, another time is when she wants to be carried and no one is there to carry her.
Mum was still around at home, therefore it was still all okay. This was the only day mum was home. She then received a text from my aunt that she was supposed to be ready to go over their house the next day.
I was part nervous, part strong because I knew I would be the only adult around at home with the two little babies. I wondered how it was going to be.
I slept with my mum and the two babies that night before. I needed to know what time they are up - or the baby only, despite the fact that my sister had written me those tips and schedule.
The next morning...She quickly gave me some guides which she thought was useful for me. Indeed they were. The day before she had taught me how to bathe the baby, and what to do with the baby after the shower. Rub the eucalyptus oil on the top of the head, the chest, the back, and the feet. Mum also taught me how to wear clothes and change diapers for the baby. Tough job, but I loved it. Challenging at first - and then it got addictive. Being responsible for the baby's well-being became such a wonderful feeling. The desire of wanting kids is back on track. But of course, Allah knows better if I should have one, or not, or if yes, precisely when.
And mum was already rushing up and down, preparing her stuff, because she needed to leave to my aunt's house. Mum didn't even have proper breakfast - but I made her some milk and made her eat some instant bun. After that, I was going to be with only the kids. I was nervous, honestly. After that, I went up to find that Shasha was awake. She wanted some dress with a pocket, but I couldn't find it, so I persuaded her to wear a dress with so-called wings.
Somewhere in the afternoon, mum sent me a text saying that she missed us all very much.
Back to little Shasha...
It was the day she started to have tantrums. She started to get agitated with things and wanted me to carry her. I forgot what made her agitated in the first place, but she then shouted and cried. I finally managed to get them both to sleep, though quite late in the afternoon. She had vomited but refused to change. After she woke up, she was okay a little bit.
And then, that night, Shasha probably had a bad dream. She woke up every hour crying. She said she was itchy and needed scratching on her back. I wasn't sure how to make her feel better. Oh! The weird part was that, whenever she cried, the baby did not wake up or cry - and when the baby did, Shasha did not. But, when I made the slightest sound, they either woke up or moved. Oh gosh. Hahaha. I mean, that's unfair, dearest babies!! Kekeke...
Before sleeping, Shasha had vomited and claimed that she had been too full. I changed the mattress and persuaded her to change her clothes but she refused. Poor little thing.
The next day...
They both woke up pretty late because of the night before. It started okay until Shasha started off with tantrums which made me feel so sorry for her. She vomited and again, did not want to change, nor shower. The baby was crying at the same time because she was hungry. Maybe my time planning wasn't that smooth - I had to let one of them cry to care for the other. The toddler cried till she was almost voiceless. I wanted to cry, just thinking about it. She must have had suffered so much like that. Everything was just not right for her at the time. I couldn't - I just couldn't scream at her or anything. The only time when I raised my voice was when she pulled the baby's leg because it gave me the shock of my life - I was so afraid that the baby's leg got hurt or something. Baby Shasha was only 2 but she was strong! I wanted her to feel okay. On the way up to their room, she wanted me to carry her while I was carrying the baby.
I remember saying to my husband some time ago when we saw kids with tantrums..."No matter what, kids shouldn't have their way! They should be taught manners from young! " and other so-called disciplined "should, must...etc." auxiliary verbs. When it came to myself, however, all those tantrums did not bring me any anger or impatience - I gently spoke to the toddler, though she wouldn't listen. I sympathized her, and all I wanted to do was to make it better for her - in any way that I could.
Now I admit that talking is easier than doing it.
I made Shasha her milk, and then she slept in her grandma's room - though it was quite early in the morning. I didn't have the heart to tell my sister that she cried for her mum and that she cried till she vomited and was almost voiceless. I also managed to put the baby to bed after her milk.
They slept for about 2 - 3 hours. Now hear this...
When Shasha finally woke up from her nap, she was the loveliest toddler ever! She was adorable and she didn't want to open the room where her sister was sleeping because of the creaking sound on the door. She was being considerate that the sound would wake the baby up! It was a different her, compared to when she was being defiant - when she squeaked like an eagle would, knowing that you wanted to put the baby to bed. So I easily got her to shower, and then she was totally fine!
After that, her grandparents came over and took her with them to their house. I bet they missed spending time with her.
Natalie my youngest sister came over to the house to help me out with the dishes, the dog, the washing, etc.. bless her! She even brought me food for lunch. For breakfast, I made boiled eggs and gave cheese and cereals and milk to the toddler. Simple food, really. And I had loads of coffee to ensure that I was not sleepy throughout the whole day because my super sharp attention, a full alert was needed the whole time - it didn't matter if they were asleep or awake.
When the grandparents brought the toddler back home, they had informed my sister that the toddler had been crying the whole day. She slept for about an hour at their place. That night, something that Shasha said broke my heart. She said she wanted to go for a ride with her mum and dad. She looked for her Mickey Mouse helmet and told me a part of it was already broken. She put on her helmet and then changed her wanting to go for a ride to going to Everrise to buy vege. (cold sweat - hahahaha...) It was already 8pm plus, and in the end, I managed to get them both to go up to get some sleep. The baby had already slept, but Shasha wanted to get her Train Book. She wanted me to read for her. So I did. I read it so slowly and made it sound so boring, and she finally fell asleep.
She slept better that night. She woke up only once from the itch that she mentioned. The fan from mum's room had helped a lot for their sleep. Otherwise, the room was pretty stuffy because of the air-conditioner. It was probably spoiled.
The next morning she was even better. She was easy, though it was already my last day with the two cuties. I miss them so much I'm very tempted to get a flight ticket home. Shasha did not eat much - but when Natalie and her husband came to the house, they brought Chicken Rice and Shasha took some.
That night, I went home with so much soft spots in my heart. I could still hear the baby, Shasha's voice, and I missed them terribly, though I had also missed my husband damn much and I was glad to be able to see him soon. I was also partly worried about Shasha that night because she was going to yet sleep in the night with other people apart from her own mother, or her grandma. She was just getting used to me, and I was already leaving.
At the airport, all I could do was playing back the videos of the baby and seeing the photos of Shasha. I did not manage to record Shasha on video. I couldn't believe the experience I had gone through on babysitting my two favorite little girls. I couldn't believe that I even knew how to make them their milk or shower them or make them go to sleep. It was just amazing. I could not wait to go back to see them again. I initially had planned to go back in August, for Leelee's birthday, but now I think I can't wait that long. I need to go back right after my exam. Or BEFORE my exam. This time I will bring my husband back with me.
Ahhh I miss home. But because I do, I need to make sure that my work and my studies are well taken of here first!
