Thank You Mak...

For the past few days, I had stayed at my in laws' before I came back home last night to sleep with our Mee- Maw. He is one re-incarnated cat of Dear's previous cat - which we named Babywary. I named him in fact. His cat was helplessly killed by a bunch of dogs. His good neighbor brought him the lifeless body. I loved that cat. Anyway... here is a picture of Mee - Maw, a name we picked from TBBT (The Big Bang Theory) sitcom. It was the name of the Sheldon Lee Cooper character (the funniest, most genius, and simultaneously silliest character ever)'s late grandmother.

So Mee-Maw here, was just closing his eyes, which appeared to me like he was sleeping; but he wasn't lying down. He is one naughty cat, and he is less fluffy compared to his late brother aka late uncle.

Anyway, I had been spending time with my mother in law... I really like her. She is a good cook, an honest woman, and most of all a relaxed mother. Relaxed in the sense that if anything goes wrong; if it is not that serious, she laughs it off like a mild joke. She loves her children - so much that she really never complains about cooking or doing anything for them. She cleans the house every single day - that is like how my favorite auntie - Aunt Eng, and my grandma do.

About cooking, I guess her family - and whoever is her family, even though  new like me - is very lucky... she is a great chef. Whenever the food is served, I always hoped that someone would start eating, because her cooking really intrigues all the appetites ever in the world. Apart from being able to bring her magic pair of hands to make the cooking taste delicious, she is able to prepare many dishes at the shortest time. Whenever I am in the kitchen with her, I would ask.. "Mak masak ape?" (Translation: "Mom, what are you cooking?") She would tell me the name of the dish - and honestly, the only thing I am able to help her with is the washing of dishes and probably preparing the drinks, and then the plates and...bringing the food to the front. That's about it, I guess. I am that useless. :( She had taught me how to clean out Ikan Billis (Anchovies) too, and it is pretty fun.

Watching Malay dramas becomes something I really enjoy doing. I realized that there are a lot of pretty local actresses around. I had never paid any attention to Malay or Tamil dramas previously- but now Malay dramas are just great..

I felt bad though - because mak had helped me out so much - providing me so much convenience...
in the morning she made sure that I had my food, and my dirty clothes were washed by her...

If I am not able to repay her in any other way, I pray that she is repaid by Allah for her good deeds. She is one great companion too; smiles sincerely whenever she finds something amusing. What we need is sincerity - always the sincerity. I am really fed up with fake expressions. I have seen so many people like this around - even among my friends.

This is to mak:

Mak, you are such a nice person - funny sometimes, and you really have a good heart. You're an excellent cook!!!!!!! May Allah bless you with perfect health, perfect faith, and may you be happy all the time, Mak. :)

4th November.

It's at this wee hour. ...5am in the morning..that i have decided to re-install blogger on my phone after the reset.
Dear is sitting next to me... I just woke up. He said he is unable to sleep because of the pain on his leg. I am worried, because he seems to have lost his appetite. Oh i am like a mother worrying for her child. Now, should i buy him Appeton?
November is a month of wonder to me. On the first day i had my super painful menstrual pain. It was almost unbearable. I went to work anyway, and i have my reason. 1st november was a friday. Friday is a terribly bad day for MC. Why? Because... Trust me... MC has gotten such a bad reputation. So having MC on a Friday is more like a patterned MC... Something i still fail to figure out. In my humane opinion,when one is sick,one should rest. It was going to be a long weekend anyway due to the holiday on Monday and Tuesday...
On the 2nd,i felt better...even though not entirely. Dear and i had a great time at home and out anyway.
On the 3rd, which was a Sunday, we had decided to ride to Cameron Highland. A place i had never longed to visit because it isn't an animal place. No zoo, no wildlife reserve... Well, we  prepared for the journey anyway. We were up pretty early. I was up pretty early. Dear barely slept, something i feel pretty much annoyed about. I completely know the feeling of having insufficient sleep. I did not want to argue, so when he said he was okay with only 3 hours of sleep, i let him be.
It was a really great morning. A great ride.
(the trip will be told in detail in another entry)
The scenery was... Significantly,remarkably awesome. The temperature was... just my thing! Rainy season made it even colder.
I was a happy kid.
No plans of staying the night we had,but prodeeded due to dear's calculation of time and the pros and cons.
4th November came. Bought my pink powerbank, fed some cute and fat and harmless stray dogs... And had our tea... Fed our lungs with the fresh air cameron has, fed our eyes on d pretty, amazing sceneries of tea plantation...saying goodbye to all of those in my heart....
And BOOM!!!!!
The bike ran into an old blue jeep. There were millions of jeeps there. I was blank for about a second. I heard dear calling me..."baby...baby...get up...can get up or not?...." i tried getting up..but i couldn't. I tried to call out to him but i felt so choked. No sound came out. I was screaming desperately inside my head but the sound that came out of me was very soft. I felt like i had used all my might, but it didn't seem enough. I felt people pulling me up to the ground. Someone pulled a plastic chair for me..then asked me to sit down. I was in pain. I didn't know where...but i was in pain. Dear was sitting on the floor. He had a cut...a very deep cut on his calf. I saw the bone. The cut was big and it was wide open. I saw the bone!!!!! I said in my weak voice "dear....ur leg....." he answered he knows.... And then he asked someone to cover it for him. What i really respect and salute dear for is his strength... He is one strong man. A man. He doesn't admit his pain...he doesn't cry and show his pain. Then again this means he doesn't show it even to me. One old Malay man was really nice...he squatted to give dear support on his back. He called the ambulance. I was sure he was a local. He even gave dear and me a bottle of drink. My right arm was in pain. It felt so sore that it was painful. The ambulance came after a while...and brought us to the hospital. We were both seated at the back and the ambulance drove like mad. If we did not hold on to anything we would have been in more serious pain and have had more critical injury.
(sorry i went back to sleep after fajr prayer)
It's now almost noon..just showered..
When we reached the hospital, i was seated on a wheel chair...and dear was not!his wound was covered with a piece of cloth, that was why they thought he was fine. I was in pain and was brought to one of the beds. They asked me questions...asked me which part was painful...and then they jabbed my left thigh...oh my goodness...it was painful! I was never afraid of needles but this one was huge!!! Because my arm could not move, instead of taking off my shirt,the nurse cut the shirt off. She then dressed me with the hospital dress. Anyway i still kept wondering where my husband was. I hoped they were already treating him. According to what he told me few days back, they did not give him immediate attention. He had to register us both first. I believe it was due to the cloth. My body felt weird...i didn't really know what was going on....but i felt really nervous. There was this juice in my abs..inside of my body of course...which kept flowing and made me want to vomit. It was like going up and down the roller coaster...non stop.
The doctor was really nice. The female doctor. The chinese female doctor. Her name is Lee Wei Min. She looked pretty young and she was helpful. The nurse was also nice. She did complain a bit but when she was faced with her patients she was nice. The nurse looked very young too. In fact there were one or two more accidents happening after ours. I heard something about a baby being trapped. The calls were almost non stop for a while.
(2 days later we saw in the news that the mother died. She was my age! Poor thing...such a sad news for the family... The baby was only 11 months and he suffered broken legs... Al-Fatihah to the mum...)
I was brought into the Radiology room and they had me X-Rayed. They then brought me back to the place i was initially placed. On my way out i heard dear calling me...and i was glad he was ok.i waited for the result. The result showed negative bone crack or fracture.
After a while...the nice doctor told me that i could go see my husband if i wanted to...he was just next door. Of course i wanted to. She helped me to put on my clothes. I kept saying sorry to her because i felt so bad having a doc to help me put my clothes on. She said it was ok because she understood. Then i went to see dear. They were almost done with the dressing and the cement. Then the doctor came and tell us that they could provide us a room for a night. They even gave us food. ..they gave us the doctor's food cos the patient's food had already finished. I felt really dizzy and while dear was on the wheelchair and the doctor was talking... I asked for a plastic bag because I needed to puke badly and I did. Disgusting.
After the vomiting we went to the beds provided to get some rest. I felt really uncomfortable...felt very dizzy and my stomach felt sick. I vomited once more. Despite dear's leg....he helped me with the vomiting. Thankful to have him around. The nice doctor then came rushing over and then I saw her but could not help it...I just had to cry because when I vomited my organs felt painful. My body ached so much when any energy was exerted. The doctor said to me..."ok girl...since you are here tonight waiting for your family...why don't I give you an injection so that the medicine goes straight inside your blood vessel for you to stop vomiting..if u still do after that we need to scan further to check if there is any concussion in your brain..." I said ok. I was thinking,'you know best doctor...just do whatever is best.'
And then after a while, a male nurse came to give me the injection...on my left hand. Since the back of my palm was hurt, he injected me below the thumb. My watch was taken off.Again the needle hurt. Ouchhhh, my mind said. After that he left us to be alone.
Dear and I fell asleep. Before that I asked dear to call his parents...because I was in pain and I couldn't think so much. Dear was contemplating of what to do...because he was afraid that his parents would scold us. In the end he used my phone to send mak (means mother, my mum in law) a text. I didn't know what he did. ..and I was pretty blur then. He was on his bed and I was on mine. I didn't know what time it was... And I just dozed off. When I woke up..I saw people walking around.. And I didn't know the time...dear was also asleep but he was not sleeping profoundly like always. I went back to sleep again. The next thing I know, when I woke up... Dear was already snoring. I tried calling him but he was snoring away still. Then I called him a few more times to check if our family called him...because my phone was with him...he woke up...I asked for the time..and then we both woke up. I went to the loo...and then after sitting up on my bed for a while. ..dear said abah (father) had called and they were already near . We waited for them....
I went to ask about our mc from the nice nurse...and then I went to the waiting room....our family was already there...alhamdullillah. ..
My pretty sister in law was also there with her daughter and her husband. Her son was sleeping in the car.
Abah also prepared crutch for dear...and off we went to have some breakfast...
To be honest... I think I had some hallucinations on the way back... I saw big trucks...but when I forced consciousness there was none. I also saw people (old Malay lady with yellow and black baju kurung. ..looked like local...and some other locals..)on the road but when I strained my eyes opened...there was also none...
Anyway..our family....I really owe them. We went back home to get some clothes...then after that went back to my in laws'...
Seriously I don't know what to do to repay them...I just pray that they are blessed...aminn. ..

Been a while...

Hello there, it's been a while since I'd updated anything here.
Dear is in his very sexy pose right in front of the TV, and I am here updating this post.

And he had just asked me to watch a video on his tab where the husband scared the wife with some home made ghost in front of the TV. I swear I would break his bike if that ever happens to me... hiak hiak hiak...

He loves me, that would be something I am more than sure of. I guess if I ever had doubts, I would remember all the points that he had tried and proven to me that he loves me... and of course, I love him too. Forever.

Now... below is my journal from last night :
-------------------------------

6^th July 2013

Another proof that he loves me:

He brought me to Highland Tower. In fact, I couldn’t even see the condominium, even though he kept pointing out where the place was. I had been asking him to bring me there – even though I didn’t really want to go there. I just wanted to know where it is located. We had quite a late dinner earlier at Wichudda Restaurant at Damansara Uptown, and right after that we went straight to the place.

There was a row of houses which were… really creepy looking though. There were neither doors nor window panes, there were only darkness inside – and dear said that the inside must have had some drug addicts. Apart from that creepy-looking area, the houses there were luxurious and might cost up to 6 million, or even more. Dear said that many of the local celebrities stay in that area.

One peculiar part about the place was that there was this dead end where there were three pigs feeding on some stuffs on the ground. We stayed there for a while to look at the pigs and they were just feeding there…

We plan on going to Kuala Gandah tomorrow. Gotta sleep. Good night. 

-------------------------------

And ... today since we woke up late - again, we didn't go to Kuala Gandah. I put out the clothes to dry them, since the sun was shining brightly...

We went to have lunch at the apartment - the lunch was quite late. We got out from the house at about 4 P.M. This apartment food place is like a new place for us to have our meals - even though I still dream about cooking for dear...
Anyway, after that we decided to go to Ulu Yam... we went back home to get some doughnuts from dear's car... and then went off..
On the way to Ulu Yam we stopped by at Batu Caves temple, a tourist's destination in Malaysia, and it was officially my first time there. I snapped about 2 photos - and that was it. Dear didn't bring his bike locks, so we could not leave the bike for long.
I went to feed a monkey - with the doughnut, and since the monkey was big, I was pretty scared, so instead of giving the monkey food gently, I threw the doughnut right at it.. poor thing.

And then, we sped off to Ulu Yam... the place is actually very nice.
The ride was great...it was windy, and the road was pretty clear. I spotted an eagle again! It had been quite long since I had last seen an eagle... but maybe they had been soaring around the sky, I just stopped noticing.

We didn't stop by at the lake area like we used to though, but we stopped at Ulu Yam Baru, a little town ... peaceful one... and guess who we found??

TADA!!! 

They were friendly! I gave them my doughnut and they loved it. :) Their eyes just looked so... mellow... haha! We met some friendly cats too... and at that time I just wished that I brought some cat food with me...

Dear went to the nearby food stall and got us Teh Ais (Ice Tea with Milk) and we drank it before making our way back using another Genting exit.

The Genting exit, which according to Dear is the second exit, and it was the best. THE BEST!!!!!! I have no idea how to explain the beauty of it, but the ride was just perfect. The wind was great, and since it was a pretty high place, the wind was a little colder than the normal wind that we have here in the city. There were very few cars on that road, and the mountains were beautiful, and surrounding us were nothing but trees... just a perfect ride, I would say. I was so glad he brought me there.

We then stopped by on the way down from Genting, just to look at the scenery... breathtakingly beautiful.

To be honest, Genting area still seems like a hidden story to me, even though the place has been commercialized... it's like what had been advertised are just certain areas, but behind the scene, there are some other stories that we had not known.

After stopping by for about 20 minutes, we went ahead to go back... and stopped by at Damansara Perdana to have our dinner.

The dinner was great. We discussed about getting a bigger bike, something that we had been discussing all along... so that we can fulfill our dreams on riding to Thailand or Vietnam... dear told me that one week leave is not enough. Two weeks will do...
I guess that can happen since we are only going to do that next year. I will try to save my leaves as much as I can...

Till next time.... I'm going to hug dear to sleep now. Good night.

Dear angels, please watch over my family in Kuching, and also my in laws...

Sad...

This is like the saddest thing that has happened to my gadget...

Snores

Dear is deafening me by snoring so hard next to my ear... I hope his hand doesn't feel numb because my head is dang heavy. I can feel it. Anyway, the night is still young... but he's snoring off. The snores sound like the old scooter trying to start in the morning. He's currently using his friend's scooter because his KTM is in the hospital. Or salon. Whatever. They are putting new frames on it... Anyway,  I'm going to doze off in a while... Oh and his snoring is due to his stubbornness …he fell asleep at 8 last night and did not wake up despite my waking him up. My fear was that he would wake up in the middle of the night and got sleepy in the morning. Well my fear came true. His snoring is very loud but I love him still. Ehehehe!

pre-redang

We are planning a trip to Redang Island. So far this is the most spoken of island by the people. I don’t know how nice it is, but even dear had said that it is the best so far. I guess I will need to be there to judge it firsthand.

This time around, our two housemates, the Korean sisters, will be going along with us. I know it’s about a month more to go, but I am all excited already. This is also going to be the first time we will be spending the nights with the Korean sisters, and I hope everything goes well and since I have this fear that freaky things will happen when the sun goes down, I do cross my finger and hope that there will be no one sleep-walking or getting possessed or anything. I know I do have this little plan on telling ghost stories together with them Korean girls in the night but I guess we should be doing that on the very last night we are there.

I have yet to really explore the pictures, and I have yet to apply my leave, but I believe I will do it as soon as we pay the down payment.

That is all for now, I will update this soon! 

Donkeys !

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem 

Last Sunday dear brought me to the Berjaya Hills Bukit Tinggi Animal Park. Dang, I love that place. I missed the donkeys. We had been there once, on a Sunday as well, last year... 18th November 2012 to be exact. We were still not married at the time... and this time we went as a married couple. He is my khalifah... ehehehe... I know this is not a cute matter but for some reason it sounds cute. 

Anyway, I have to be very honest that I do love Malaysia - regardless all the mixed emotions I have being in this country. I mean, yes, Malaysia is full of craps sometimes but tell me who is not? What is not? The journey there had been a little bit nauseating, because of all the twist and turns, but then the scenery was just perfect. A confession though - I think there was haze... 

My mind talks.

It has been months since I have written a new entry here. Let me see... 

Currently (Real Time Update): 

Dear is snoring away next to me. It's about 12.15 pm... And I have yet to hang the clothes. Chasing the sun is always good. 

I had taken a few chocolate biscuits, and have had a few sips of coffee. There's somehow always coffee in our room. Coffee here I mean Nescafe. The best brand ever. If there's a Nescafe brand for laptops or phone and they have that cocoa-istic smell on the items I would have bought them for sure. Not only Nescafe brings me to life, it brings everything else to life! I remember my favorite Aunt (Aunt Eng) loves it. I remember her sipping the coffee off bit by bit even though it was boiling hot. I didn't understand that back then. Now I do. 

Another real time update is this : 

It's now 3.35 pm, dear is awake, and I've prepared our late lunch, hung the clothes, and of course, played my Criminal Case on Facebook. 

I prepared my Fritto Misto which dear loves, and we ate it with our coffee. 

And it's raining. It's a cozy Sunday afternoon. With Big Bang Theory on the TV of course. And dear following up the Harlem Shake thing on his tab. Me typing away here in my pink laptop. I'm not sure about the necessity of this information though. 

Anyway, I'm going to categorize my writing here. 

On Family:

My sister Jaclyn had just changed her profile picture to the one which she was with me during my wedding day. I feel so honoured! My youngest baby sister Natalie is not feeling quite well, and she had been like this for days. I just hope she takes her medicine on time and drinks sufficient water. Water flushes off toxic from our body. 

I sometimes miss my grandpa before I go to sleep at night, and I miss my dad... and even though my grandma still looks healthy, I am really scared of the day when she says goodbye. I really, really am afraid of that day. I sometimes go to sleep crying because of all these. I miss them. I miss them real much. 

My mum has been dancing so much that dancing has become her world. I remember her telling us that dancing and performing has been her passion, even before she had us. Back when she was as young as ... super young. She should have become a star. 

My aunt has always been on my mind, and I really wish that she stops thinking that she is a burden to us because she's family and she should not feel that way. I love her like my own mum. I've got 5 angels in my life. 

First is my grandma, then my mum, aunt and then my  two sisters. They are my world. Of course when I say angel here I'm only referring to female. Dear is my ... life? Hahaha.. 

We haven't gone back to see my in-laws... I wonder how they are doing.... 

Last night we met them though at the cousin's ceremony. It was just a "Doa Selamat" thing. A "benediction"? Dear  had such a friendly cousin.

On Work: 

I am glad that I am at where I am. I do not want to promise anything, but I would say that I am glad that I am here. There are a few games to play, few comments to play in my head, and of course there a few wonders in my head, but, but, but ... I do respect these few people here in this organization that I am in, but I feel invisible intendedly at times. I of course, need to reflect on myself to check out what is wrong with me. The only thing that I am certain now is that I am glad to be where I am at and I know that there is still room for improvement... 

On Love: 

Oh my my, what can I say about this one? This one is definitely - something that I treasure. I treasure and will fight for. Well, dear has been nice. Not nice as in those Cinderella or Snow Whitey prince kind of nice, but he has been a good husband to me. Not a perfect one of course - but he is the perfect match for me. I dare to say this one here because I don't know how much darer I can be. I don't know what I am talking about any longer... being in love is a wonderful feeling. It drives you nuts, and it makes you unaware of so many things... 

1.) He does not bother me whenever I am doing my own stuffs.

2.) He waited for me at the gate when it rained, and came to me with an umbrella in hand. An umbrella which we both shared. 

3.) He finishes all the food that I cook, even though sometimes I forgot the most important ingredient ever- SALT.

4.) He takes the Vitamin C tablet that I bought for him - every morning. 

5.) He cleans up the dishes sometimes whenever I forget to do so. 

6.) Whenever there's pending house chore - and I get sleepy - he would say, "Sleep first, baby...we settle that another time..."

7.) He shows me interesting stuffs he finds in the internet... sharing IS caring... hahaha! 

8.) He asks me to drink coffee first - which we never really run out of in the room - whenever I wake up and he's awake. 

Okay I should stop here.

I love him. I love my husband. 

On Friends: 

I'm not sure if I will sound all fifteen or nine if I talk about my friendship with certain people here. 

Hmm... let's see.

So far, I'm more than thankful to have a bunch of friends who are really nice to me - and I make my effort in contacting them through Whatsapp, Skype, BBM... whatever that I can... I believe in constant communication even though sometimes people do get bored with all of these communication. 

I love 'em. They give me the laughter, the joy...

Chinese New Year 2013

Warning : Below context written in tears. Hehehe..

To all the racist people out there - and shallow minds of course - please equip yourself with more knowledge than ever to prepare yourselves for a better country. This comes because of some remarks saying that - never mind, I don't want to say a single thing about it here because it pisses me off.

So... I miss home, Kuching. I have in fact missed out 3 years of celebrations - the last time I celebrated Chinese New Year was back in 2010. Then again, before all these years, I had been celebrating this celebration since I was born. I miss my home town... I had been brought up like a Chinese - the only thing that differs me from a real, pure Chinese would be my name - because I carried Martin as my surname. Apart from that, all the superstitious were Chinese based. The hygiene came from there too. The loathe of slowness and laziness also from there - and I don't know, the whole family is from there? My pure Chinese mother and my 50% of Chinese father with the Chinese dominance had brought about all these. We are practically a Chinese family. 

From a Roman Catholic by religion, I had converted (reverted) to becoming a Muslim. This is not going to sound beautiful to many, but most people are somehow associating Muslim with Malay merely because of the country itself - no blaming here, I still love this country - don't throw me out of this country filled with memories. Well, in Malaysia, whoever is a Malay, is born a Muslim. That's how it works. Leaving Islam will cost you your nationality? I'm unsure, but I know it's nearly impossible to do so. Then again, who would want to leave Islam?? I'd like to be very honest here. Being a Muslim is not hard. It's beautiful. Covering up gives me a reason to remember Allah, to remember that a Muslim woman should cover up her awra'. And, people with shallow minds (sorry, whoever you are... as long as this crosses your mind) think that  I have become a Malay. How is that evolutionarily possible? I was born a Melanau Chinese and I will die as that itself. Growing up being in a totally different community, beliefs, and circle of friends, I don't know how I had accepted this change in me so willingly. Then again, all my other family and members - my only true friends and family members - who matter to me more than anything else at times - sometimes kind of put a dart through my heart - ACCIDENTALLY, I'd say. That hurts me more than ever, really. Then again, these are times I should be quiet because  at this kind of time, is the time when I cannot turn to anyone without making the other party hate the other. This is the real stress that I go through - yet never know who to tell it to, what to say about it... This is silence and I just don't know how to put all these into words so that my heart is clear. Converting to Islam belief does not make me a different race - it's the belief and the faith that I have that has been renewed and restored. That does not separate me from the rest of you, my own family and friends. Then again I'm used to being in the middle - my other Chinese friends take me as an outlier, my non-Chinese friends think of me as a Chinese. Throughout my whole life, there had been people initially thinking that I am a Chinese, and then when I mentioned my official (written in birth cert) race, they are like, "Oh..." and then start being careless when talking about Chinese race... and that's an Ouch. Being a Muslim and choosing Islam is my choice -MY CHOICE. One man wished me Happy Chinese New Year... even though I met him with my Hijab on...he knew me way before this - and I was..... happy. I was really happy that he did not judge what was on me. Sadly, (ARRGgghhhhh I'm in tears... I'm super homesick and I wanna go home - yet my family members do no think that I would want to celebrate this festive season. None of them has called me to wish me Happy Chinese New Year- the only person who had wished me is Jaclyn... ) some friends wish me half-heartedly... I don't know anymore. It just suddenly feels like I am all alone. Maybe people take this as a mode of betrayal - a form of betrayal? I don't feel included in anything. I was never really am the main character in anything. I seriously feel lonely in this. Sometimes the definition comes to you... without you needing to find it out. 

Last night I went up to Genting Highland with Dear... and even though he is my husband, I don't quite share this with him, because... It's ok, I told him that I'm homesick. I didn't know how else to say it. We used his KTM to go up there - and it was a great ride. It was a windy night - and it was super cold up there in Genting. I loved it up there. I was very excited about the trip even though it was a super short one. It had been a while since it was just the two of us going for trips. We brought home-made coffee... and can you imagine me falling asleep on the way back? I even dreamt of handing something to someone - I dreamt! We got out from the house at about 10:09 PM ... and we went to have some supper before heading home... the ride was great ... and I felt like I did not have enough of it. Then again, too much of something is bad enough - Spice Girls said.